The Last Two Houses to Your Left

I was a bit hesitant to see this movie when I first heard about it. This is a remake of a movie that was a remake itself. Now, I’ve never seen “The Virgin Spring” and feel like an idiot because I haven’t. So, the only film that I really can reference with this movie is the Wes Craven version from the 1970s. That movie was extremely hard to get through. It’s not exactly well-made, but it’s extremely effective. Wes Craven was still getting his wits about him with this movie and when you think about it, a lot of his films that he’s both written AND directed seem to shoot for goals that he constantly misses. Think “The Hills Have Eyes” and “Shocker”. ”A Nightmare on Elm Street” may be the best of the bunch that he wrote himself, but that benefited from being an extremely original idea. If you go back and watch the original and try forgetting the rest of them, you’d be better off, save the third and seventh (also written by Craven).

By now, I’m sure most people know the plot of “The Last House on the Left”. Two girls go out partying in town, get themselves caught. They end up being brutally raped and then eventually murdered. The killers/rapists then take refuge in the parents of one of the victim’s house and the parents take revenge. It’s a simple plot, but inherently it is deliberately supposed to incite some kind of anger. With the Craven version, it was just in your face violent. I think I was a little young to see it when I did and I knew that after I had seen it, I wouldn’t be different. The thing about that movie is that it portrays police as bumbling idiots, showing them making dumb mistakes that cost the victims their lives set to “Deliverance” style banjo music. It just doesn’t fit. Oh yeah, and at the end, the mother bites the penis off of one of the assailants. Not the most pleasant movie.

Not really saying that the remake is that much better. What’s weird is I kinda liked the remake. In an age where all the classic horror movies are being remade and screwed up, this was one of the exceptions. The night I saw it was at the drive-in where a movie like this really should be seen. It was the third movie, preceded by “A Haunting in Connecticut” and the remake of “Friday the 13th”. ”A Haunting in Connecticut” sucked like you probably think it would. I fell asleep at the drive-in. I remember being really comfortable during the movie which is exactly why the movie didn’t work. A horror movie should not lull someone to sleep, especially if they’re the only one in a car in the middle of a field.

The remake of “Friday the 13th” is another story that I will explain in a different blog. I found a new appreciation for it once I bought it on Blu-Ray. Again, as I said, I will explain later.

So, I was kinda worried. I’m not exactly pushing my way to the front of the line to see a couple of girls get raped and brutally killed at the hands of scumbags. But watching the movie, I realized something: this is pretty well made. Because of this revelation, I think it dilutes the power of what happens. The thing about the original is that is was so gritty that it almost seemed real. Granted, the blood was pink and the acting was terrible, but that was part of it, part of the experience.

With the remake, we get the embezzler from “Ghost” and Julia Robert’s sister as the parents. With credits like that, you wouldn’t think they were that good, but I am happy to say that the acting (all around) was really good. It made it to seem like more of a Greek tragedy. The actors were the parents and the scumbags and the victims.

Now, I know I seem like I’m contradicting myself, saying they both seem real but not at the same time. The remake has a gloss on it. The shot compositions as well as the angles seem planned. In the original, they did not. Not at all. And that enhanced the realism.

I’m not saying either of the movies are better than one or the other, but I will say this; with the original, it seemed like it was part of the experience. You were there with everyone and you wanted those bastards to get what they had coming to them. In the remake, you get the same feeling, but it’s more of an audience type of movie, the type where the people in the audience jump up and start cheering at the screen to “kill that motherfucker”.

My sister, when we were watching it earlier, seemed to almost laugh when one of the guys got his hand caught in a garbage disposal and then got a hammer claw in the back of his head. When I said something to her afterwards about it, she said she didn’t realize she was laughing. Actually, she flat out denied it. This is what the filmmakers wanted. They wanted people involved. They don’t call it a “revenge fantasy” for no reason.